Starbucks, the nation’s left-wing-nutjob-8-dollars-a-cup-of-joe shop, has finally figured out the economy is slowing down. I suppose when gas costs more than four bucks a gallon - getting that mocha frappachino for six bucks doesn’t seem like such a good idea. Starbucks Corp. announced today it will close 600 company-operated stores in the next year. The move marks a rather dramatic downsizing of the company’s stores - closing close to a fifth of all stores it opened since 2006.

Some are attributing the mocha-meltdown to a “faltering economy.” I would just point out that for all this talk about recession - we’re still not there yet. Recession is defined by economists as two quarters of contracting GDP output. We have not yet experienced that. We have experienced significantly slower growth than we’re used to the last four or so quarters, and in this country, that’s just as bad for many people. But recession? Not yet.

I didn’t watch Olberman tonight - but I’m sure he had a brain aneurism blaming Bush for destroying Starbucks. It’s the war in Iraq that has caused the economy to falter, and now, my left-wing-nuta-chino wih half-half-decaf-global warming footrpint reduced calorie coffee isn’t profitable. Actually, knowing Olberman, he’s probably blaming Haliburton.

But the reality is that it isn’t the weakening economy, or Bush, or Haliburton that blew up Starbucks. The less crazed Dunkin’ Donuts continues to do well - selling coffee, oh and here’s a novel idea, donuts too. Moreover, I haven’t noticed local cafe’s all of a sudden boarding up and moving out in the DC area. So what happened to poor old Starbucks?

Starbucks was a victim of its own greed and stupidity. Many of the slated stores are essentially “in their own pocket” with other Starbucks. I mean - here in DC alone, I did a quick search on Google and there were 18 Starbucks shops in the DC “proper”. I’m not talking about the DC area - Fairfax, Prince Georges, etc., I’m talking about only in the “diamond.” I mean, you can hardly go a block in DC without running into Starbucks!

DC has a population of about 600 thousand. That means there was one store for about every 33 thousand people. Consdering every man, woman, and child in DC does not drink coffee - especially the kids - figure that’s one store realistically per every 15 thousand. Compare this to someone like Wal-Mart. They have 20 stores from Indian Head, VA, through DC to Balitmore, from Annapolis to  Chantilly, VA. That’s an area of roughly 3.5 MILLION people. That means that there is one Wal-Mart per 175,000 greater-DC area residents. Considering people think of Wal-Mart as being “everywhere,” - reality is, if Starbucks tried to cover the same area as Wal-Mart, they’d need 106 stores - or five times the number Wal-Mart has. Now, while there is a good deal of commuting in to DC - I don’t think the District goes from 500 thousand to 3 million residents during the day.

I’m sorry - but who the heck drinks that much coffee that we need a Starbucks on every block in DC?

It’s not the recession that is killing Starbucks, it’s the open-up a store every 30 feet management style they’ve been following. Everything is all fine and rosey, till people wonder, “hey, what the hell does my cup of joe cost as much as my commute to work!” combined with - wow look I can see three Starbucks while sitting in Starbucks drinking my over-priced cup of mocha-lefty-chino - that forced this decision.